This diagram is an example of a type of chart known by systems analysts as a state transition diagram. Each colored elliptical bubble represents a state of being that represents the way you are now.
The labels on the arrows represent actions or events and the arrows show paths into or out of each state. You are at one place on this chart for one particular relationship or incident at any particular time. Other people are likely to be in other places on the chart. This is similar to an ordinary road map where you plot where you are now, while other people are at other places on the same map. OK : This is the beginning or neutral state.
It corresponds to yourself being free of envy or jealousy. The green color represents safety, tranquility, equanimity, and growth potential. I want what you have: You see what someone else has and you desire it. You believe that if you can get what the other person has, your stature will increase and you will feel more satisfied. You may be desiring their car, house, boat, vacation, or more likely their recognition, stature, looks, health, fame or other personal attribute.
Be careful here. Make certain: 1 that if you had it it would increase your genuine stature, not just your futile stature seeking, and 2 you could actually get it. Envy: They have what you want and you will be unhappy until you get it. You are feeling badly about your low self-esteem and you believe if you can get what they have it will increase your stature and you will feel better.
Maybe it will, but probably it will not. A lot of energy is wasted in this type of futile stature seeking. Time clearly doesn't cure envy, but it seems to blunt it a bit or your willingness to admit to the emotion, at least. The researchers also found that people are most likely to envy those of their own gender, and that what sparked envy shifted over time; young people were more envious of romantic success, while older ones were more envious of money and professional accolades.
Envy shifts with our status as we become more established and our priorities change, which makes perfect sense. Scientific American reported something sobering in March this year: we've known for a while that extensive use of Facebook seems inclined to foster depression, and new studies have established that, for young people particularly, the impetus behind that drop in mood is largely motivated by envy.
One study looked at college students and found that when exposure to Facebook — which is largely a platform like Instagram on which people "perform" their successes, travels, weddings, children and other achievements — provoked envy, it was also likely to lead to low mood. This isn't surprising; a lot of envy can produce a "why not me" set of emotions.
And a second study found that it's how we use Facebook that produces envy and negative feelings: what they called "passive" use, i. A fascinating study about feelings of racism and other kinds of social prejudice found that envy is actually intertwined with a very particular form of negative bias: viewing people as seriously good at what they do, but fundamentally untrustworthy or insincere.
The findings came from a study of how people "rank" or assess other people, and divided the sensations they recorded into two parts: warmth, or how trustworthy and kind a group were seen to be, and competence, or how capable and organized they're supposed to be. The scientists found that one particular way of assessing a group, as exceptionally "competent" but not at all "warm," tended to feed off envy. The very wealthy, Jewish people, and Asians were all put in this category: prejudice against them was rooted in envy of their apparent excellence and how little they seemed to "deserve" it.
It's a nasty reflection on how badly envy can go in the human psyche. By JR Thorpe. An envy attack can involve: Putting you down — either overtly, or subtly. Provoking a reaction in you, from anger to sadness to outrage — then standing back and watching sparks fly. Undermining your opinion or stance so you begin to doubt yourself.
Showing off about their own achievements, or the accomplishments of their children or other family members, even when rather modest. This can feel humiliating. Copying you — or pre-empting you beyond the limit of simple flattery. Generally just making you feel bad about yourself. How to survive an envy attack: If you start to feel small, this is what the envious person wants. Try to catch that feeling of diminishing yourself and stop yourself from doing it.
Remind the envious person of their own strengths and successes. Encourage them to count their own blessings. Create ways to protect your energies from being sucked out of you.
Think about visualising yourself in a protective bubble, so any envy attack coming your way can bounce off you. Ultimately, choose to hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself, rather than those who deplete you. And it is not particularly pleasant. Our use of platforms including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, she says, amplifies this deeply disturbing psychological discord.
Andrew has observed among her patients that knowing they are looking at an edited version of reality, the awareness that nofilter is a deceitful hashtag, is no defence against the emotional force of envy. Participants received texts five times a day for two weeks, asking about their passive Facebook use since the previous message, and how they were feeling in that moment. No age group or social class is immune from envy, according to Andrew. In her consulting room she sees young women, self-conscious about how they look, who begin to follow certain accounts on Instagram to find hair inspiration or makeup techniques, and end up envying the women they follow and feeling even worse about themselves.
But she also sees the same pattern among older businessmen and women who start out looking for strategies and tips on Twitter, and then struggle to accept what they find, which is that some people seem to be more successful than they are. We gaze at our slimming, filtered OutfitOfTheDay, and we want that body — not the one that feels tired and achy on the morning commute.
There is a different, even darker definition of the concept of envy. For Patricia Polledri, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and author of Envy in Everyday Life, the word refers to something quite dangerous, which can take the form of emotional abuse and violent acts of criminality.
Not just wanting it for yourself, but wanting other people not to have it. This can make it very difficult for envious people to seek and receive help, because it can feel impossible for them to take in something valuable from someone else, so strong is the urge to annihilate anything good in others and in themselves.
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